Hi guys, we're still living quietly here, not isolating as such but being very tentative and really careful that's for sure!
There are very few places Coo and I now feel safe so we're mostly in Eglinton Park or at home these days. Don't get me wrong, over the years, we've been stuck at home for long periods of time before but this is different. Previously, we always had lot's of family popping in and out, running errands and staying for a chat or a cuppa most days.
This time, we were so worried over virus and infection as last time Coo had a bad infection things quickly escalated and he had a six month period with thirty seizures a day. It was an awful time neither of us want to repeat so we closed ranks and battened down the hatches to sit it out but this time, it was harder. I just didn't realise how much I need other people.
I under estimated how hard it would be without the usual peer supports I've come to depend on. With family unable to visit and my Three Towns carer group, which has been up and running every two weeks for 15 years come rain or shine all gone, I've really struggled this time.
I think we got hit with a bit of a double whammy, my Dad died one week and lockdown hit the next with it's enforced isolation and additional anxiety so we kinda became shut off from the outside world and just stayed home. Coo was poorly, he took my dad's death hard and his seizures spiked. He got anxious about infections and his seizures spiked, my rheumatoid flared and we got irritated at being shut in all the time and his seizures spiked...you getting the picture? Offt it was tough but we rode it out..kinda! I stopped all my meetings and took a time out. I didn't feel in the right head space to deal with other issues as we were kinda struggling dealing with our own. Gosh that sounds selfish and a bit of a pity party doesn't it! Our lives are still very cloistered and quiet but for our own sanity, we had to 'extend our household' and join with our daughters family, and our wee grand-babies or we'd otherwise have emotionally gone under.
We eventually decided to start getting out tentatively.
This week was wee Jessie's first Communion so we braved the church - I've been live streaming mass for months - everything was sanitised and distanced and different but we felt safe enough and we coped!
It's my birthday today so we went out again, a favourite place up to The Dick Institute in Kilmarnock for a wee happy hour and again everything was sanitised and distanced so we both felt fine. It will take time to build back up confidence but we'll get there and as always we'll do it together!
In such difficult times, stay strong friends.
((hugs))
Maz x
